Austin Dispatches | No. 50 | May 14, 2003 |
I'm
already dissatisfied with my new ISP, GoDaddy.com. I
was gonna announce new, multiple e-mail addresses, but I can't receive messages
at NeoMail. In fact, I sent some of you a message from there a few weeks ago,
but I can't tell whether you replied to that address or not. So for now, my
e-mail is the same one I’ve used since May 2000.
Some anonymous moron put a dent – a new dent – in my
car, knocking the rear bumper loose. I’m out $800 to get it fixed.
My
rental was a Pontiac Grand Prix. If you were thinking Detroit models have
improved, guess again. Now it’s customary to decry the assembly work on these
vehicles.[1] As the
notorious Harry “Rabbit” Angstrom put it, “those jalopies Detroit puts out are
slapped together by jigaboos wearing headphones pumping music into their ears
and so zonked on drugs they don’t know a slothead screw from a lug nut ….”[2]
My
beef is with the designers. How does Detroit still get away with the clunky
handling and ridiculous bubble-toy design year after year? The best thing I
could say about the Grand Prix is the front windshield is angled so that the
dashboard top doesn’t reflect upon the windshield in the sunlight, a problem
I’ve encountered with all other American rentals.
During this ordeal, I finally read “Kitchen Confidential,” chef Anthony
Bourdain’s expose of the restaurant business.[3] It amused
me, because much of it rang true from my short stint in the food trade,
admittedly at a lower level than three-star restaurants in New York.[4]
Speaking of food, while I was contracting at Dell in Round Rock, a nearby Indian
restaurant advertised the addition of American barbecue. No, Apu,[5] tossing a
pan of dry turkey breast mixed with onion slices on the buffet line – without
sauce – doesn’t count as barbecue brisket. That’s probably a hanging offense in
these parts.
[6]
My transportation travail didn’t prevent a spate
of social excursions during a peak time of year for area happenings.
In
between jobs, I saw Paul Ray and The Cobras at The Continental Club.[7] I’ve heard
Ray for years on local radio. He’s an engaging personality and the guy’s got
great taste. Plus, The Cobras are supposed to be one of Austin’s legendary
groups.[8] That
night, they sounded like just another local band. Also, Ray just doesn’t sound
good singing. In fairness, a sandstorm wrecked his vocal chords years ago.[9]
Later, I caught Thievery Corporation
at Stubb’s[10] and
flirted with the eye candy in the audience. If the crowd was anything to go by,
Austin’s new smoking ban is going to be a colossal failure.[11] The group
needed more Brazilian music in the set, like the music it played on the sound
system before the show.
I suspect Thievery Corporation’s honchos, Rob Garza and Eric Hilton,
timed their performance to coincide with the Austin Record Convention that
weekend.[12] I didn’t buy
anything, but it was worth the admission to delve into 80 years’ worth of pop
culture in one concentrated location and meet people I transact with through the
Internet. The Whiskey Rebel was there, too, manning a booth.[13] He’s
written about his annoyance at dealing with record collectors. Sure enough, I
saw him looking irked on his way out of the Crockett Center.
I
finally attended the O. Henry Pun-Off.[14] The
contestants underlined and telegraphed every joke. I don’t think Groucho has to
worry about his ranking.[15] When he
tossed off puns, he spoke so fast the audience didn’t have time to groan.
A former co-worker from the Waco Tribune-Herald attended. He confirmed a
rumor that our ex-boss, Douglas F. Wong, who is complicit in the 1993 Davidian
massacre, is now living in Austin.[16]
The
pun-off occurred the same time downtown as the Old Pecan Street Festival, Cinco
de Mayo,[17] the city
elections, and, oh yeah, a prom.[18] However,
I noticed the District Bar & Grill was closed. Another place gone before I could
try it.
After observing the election returns, Dennis Lucey and I sipped a couple of
mojitos.[19] I
introduced him to the salsa scene at Miguel’s La Bodega.[20]
I’ve begun attending frequently, where I dance with a lot of attractive
women.
The
May 2003 issue of Tribeza contains breathless rundowns of all the social events
I didn’t attend, and photos of people I don’t recognize.[21]
I
was at Blockbuster recently and a clerk wheeled up a cart with soda and candy to
promote some store special. Then he showed me the upcoming video releases I
could rent as part of this deal.
“Wait a second,” I said. “Sylvester Stallone’s got a new movie, but it’s gone
straight to video?”[22]
The
clerk and I shared a chuckle over that. Sorry, Sly. At least you’re not Janeane
Garofalo. Her whiny shtick wore thin a long time ago, and she’s been pushing to
lose her entertainment career for years by crapping in her rice bowl.[26] For a
finale, her nitwitted foreign policy comments got the public laughing at her,
not her jokes.[23] Don’t let
the door hit you, honey, and say hello to Tom Berenger when you leave.[24]
HBO
has licensed a line of “Sopranos” menswear.[25]
Fuhgeddaboudit! The prices for this line are a rip-off compared to shopping at
discount and thrift stores for chiaroscuro neckties and other clothes that don’t
mimic a WASP esthetic.[26]
Maybe those prices sent James Gandolfini back to the show.[27] I haven't
seen the fourth season yet, but avid fans complained of the slow pace and lack
of resolution of plot lines. Maybe Gandolfini has a better sense of when it's
time to get off the stage (or airwaves). If David Chase and HBO wanted to wring
out one more season, they could’ve continued their practice of breaking
convention and produce it without Tony Soprano, dead, in prison or in the
witness protection program, leaving the remaining cast to sort through the
pieces in a series that deliberately ends with a whimper -- OK, maybe a few
bang-bangs along the way.[28] It's been
done before with "Chico and the Man," which lasted a full season after Freddie
"Chico" Prinze Sr. killed himself; and "Welcome Back, Kotter," which had
diminished appearances by Gabe "Kotter" Kaplan and John "Barbarino" Travolta in
the last season.[29]
Even a bad “Sopranos” season would be an improvement over the foreign films I
saw for free at UT. The Center for Middle Eastern Studies brought over Israeli
director Yehuda “Judd” Ne’eman, a pretentious hack.[30] He
described “Paratroopers”[31] as the
Israeli “Full Metal Jacket.”[32] No, it’s
just a very long episode of “M*A*S*H.”[33] The next
night’s film, “Streets of Yesterday,” was a late ‘80s thriller set in Berlin,
and it showed.[34] The
props, clothing, filters and soundtrack could’ve been castoffs from a Duran
Duran video.[35] But as bad as
these films were, they were still better than “Chronically Unfeasible,” a
heavy-handed Brazilian political satire from 2000 whose color film stock looked
like it dated from the ‘60s.[36] At least
these films were free – and you get what you pay for.
For
whatever reason, Pottery Barn mailed an unsolicited catalog. The back page touts
the “PB Teen” line: “hip, exclusive designs.” The photo shows a shag-carpeted
room with a young couple in what looks like modified ‘70s fashions.[37] In the scene, I
imagined they’d just discussed ordering Gass shoes[38] while
listening to Pablo Cruise[39] and Gino
Vannelli.[40]
Which reminds me, my brother released his debut CD, “Stages.”[41] He’s
credibly extending a rock style rooted in L.A. and developed from the ‘70s into
the mid-‘90s,[42] before
grunge flared.[43]
While distributing literature in Precinct 269 for Wes Benedict’s campaign for
City Council, I learned 150 of 186 units in the Stoneleigh at Gracy Farms
apartment complex are empty. Meanwhile, the Mayor’s Task Force on the Economy
issued a preliminary report to do something – anything – about the economy.[44]
Apparently, this includes the Council considering a $25 million tax break to
develop The Domain, “a mixed-use urban village project” between Burnet Road and
MoPac Expressway.[45]
XeTel Corp. is still lying on its deathbed in U.S. bankruptcy court.[46] A new
storage rental building, Braker Storage, has opened next to the RaceTrac gas
station.[47]
Bank of America plans to add eight new branches to the area, including one at
Interstate 35 and Parmer Lane.[48] You’ll
still have to scrutinize your statements to ensure BOA isn’t costing you money
with balance discrepancies, misapplied fees to wrong accounts, and omitted
transactions. No, there aren’t any better competitors, at least as long as
bankers are cozy with the government (and vice versa).[49]
To
the east, Samsung Electronics Co. Ltd. plans to upgrade its semiconductor plant.[50] By all
accounts, this plan isn’t just the Samsung and dance.[51]
As
near as I can tell from his haphazard Mar. 24 lecture, UT grad student Bryan
Register wants to make libertarianism safe for John Rawls, or at least make his
academic career safe for tenure. Now, I’ve been encountering Rawls’ theories for
about 15 years. Rawls and his explicators still don’t make sense – Register came
closest -- but I understand the gist. Rawls is the Big Name to cite among people
who want to take from other people but don’t have the guts to do it by direct
force, and don’t want to feel guilty about their villainy.
Obviously, this isn’t compatible with libertarian theory, no matter how many
noble but vague slogans Rawlsians use.[52]
Register’s also fooling himself if he thinks a libertarian, even as compromising
as his lecture suggests he is, is going to be accepted in academia.[53] Statists have
the good jobs locked up, and they’ll let go when Register pries them from their
greasy, dead fingers.[54] As a
friend of a friend put it, we’d be better off investigating the work of Lou
Rawls. (Suggested study topic for grad school myrmidons: “Your Good Thing is
About to End.”)[55]
The municipal election results rattled the local
power elite. The Austin Chronicle attempted to minimize sizeable Libertarian and
quasi-libertarian inroads against the status quo.[56] But Place
6 councilman Danny Thomas told the Chronicle he was “surprised” by the high
returns for Wes Benedict.[57]
Carl Tepper, a registered Libertarian and a candidate for Austin City Council in
2003, told the Austin Chronicle that “probably 40 percent of this community” are
unrepresented at City Hall.[58] Tepper’s
assessment is supported by the tallies for TCLP activists Benedict and Steve
Adams, who each garnered 35 percent of the vote in their council races;[59] and for
the major mayoral challengers – Max Nofziger, Marc Katz, and Brad Meltzer, who
cumulatively garnered about 32 percent against victor Will Wynn.[60] (Tepper
himself received about 6 percent of the vote, but the consensus on his showing
is that the large number of candidates for the Place 5 seat cut into his
totals.)[61]
In
fact, Tepper may underestimate the potential support for a political change in
Austin, where the TCLP has operated as a de facto second party for many years.[62]
The fact that the power elite can’t get its story straight is a typical
indication that it’s losing control. That’s good. We don’t need a mere change of
faces among local leaders. We need regime change.[63]
The Badnarik presidential campaign gets a mention in the May 2003 issue of
Liberty magazine. The bad news is R.W. Bradford mentions "Badnerik" [sic.] as "a
guy who's run a couple of low-level races and garnered an embarrassingly small
vote share ...."[64]
Keep in mind this is the same magazine that described our present national
chairman as a "pompous … Tim Robbins look-alike."[65] That's a
worse insult, but at least Liberty spelled Geoff's name right.
Bradford indulges these casual swipes on the way to promoting the candidacies of
James Gray, Orange County, Calif., Superior Court judge;[66] and -- L.
Neil Smith???? While Smith postures as some sort of libertarian Che Guevara, his
speeches and articles suggest that in real life, he couldn't sell bottled water
in the Sahara.[67]
And as long as we're all laying it on the line here, let me just add that
Liberty publishes twice as frequently and is half as good -- and just as
typo-ridden -- as it used to be. The Web site hasn't even been updated in three
years. I might've canceled my subscription years ago, but the monkeys in the
subscription department never bothered to process my renewals in the first
place. So there.
Home | Archives |
[1] Hamper, Ben.
Rivethead: Tales From the Assembly Line. New York City: Warner
Books, 1991.
[2] Updike, John.
Rabbit is Rich. 1981. Rpt. Rabbit Angstrom: A Tetralogy. New
York City: Everyman's Library, 1995: 937.
[3] Bourdain,
Anthony. Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly,
rev. ed. New York City: The Ecco Press, 2000.
[4] Eisler, Dan.
“The Rush.” Unpublished mss., 1992.
[5] Groening, Matt.
The Simpsons: A Complete Guide to Our Favorite Family. Ed. Ray
Richmond and Antonia Coffman. New York City: HarperPerennial, 1997: 26
and passim.
[6] Eckert, Travis,
and Carol Eckert. Real Texas Bar-B-Que: A Beginner’s Guide.
Austin, Texas: Sport-Teck, 1987.
[7] “Club Listings.”
AC 18 Apr. 2003: 102; Zelade, Richard. Austin, rev. 4th
ed. Houston: Gulf Publishing Co., 1996: 251.
[8] Shank, Barry.
Dissonant Identities: The Rock ‘n’ Roll Scene in Austin, Texas.
Hanover, N.H.: UP of New England, 1994: 67, 71, 83, 85-86.
[9] Gray,
Christopher. “Blues for Life.” AC 6 Nov. 1998: 70.
[10] Savlov, Marc.
“Thievery Corporation.” AC 18 Apr. 2003: 84.
[11] Scheibal,
Stephen. “Smoking Restriction Gets Initial Council OK.” AAS 9 May 2003:
A1+.
[12] “Convention
Listings.” Record Convention News Apr./May 2003: 32-35.
[13] AD No. 34n24-25
(Jan. 14, 2002).
[14] Zelade, op.
cit., 37.
[15] Arce, Hector.
Groucho. New York City: G.P. Putnam’s Sons, 1979.
[16] Reavis, Dick J.
The Ashes of Waco: An Investigation. New York City: Simon &
Schuster, 1995: 39-43.
[17] Zelade, op.
cit., 38.
[18] Chisholm,
Barbara. “Community: Events.” AC 2 May 2003: 66.
[19] “Caipirinha and
Mojito.” Bon Appetit Jan. 2002: 80.
[20] Hardwig, Jay.
"Rhythm is King." AC 25 Jun. 1999: 54+; Morgan, Lance Avery. “Bodies in
Motion.” AM Apr. 2003: 46-50; Wimer, Sarah. “Hot Salsa.” TGL Nov. 2001:
22-24.
[21] Hudson, Phil.
“Noteworthy.” Tribeza May 2003: 21-24.
[22] Avenging
Angelo. Cinema Holdings/Dante Entertainment/Franchise
Pictures/Lionweed/Quinta Communications/Warner Bros., 2002.
[26] Vinciguerra,
Thomas. “That Garofalo Woman.” TAS Sep. 1999: 62; Wagner, Bruce, and
Wayne Stambler. “Janeane Garofalo.” Premiere Dec. 1997: 120.
[23] “The High Cost
of Bush-bashing.” NYPO 10 Apr. 2003: 18.
[24] Garcia, Chris.
“One Tough Aggie: Tom Berenger Talks About a Bear of a Role.” AAS 29
Nov. 2002: E1.
[25] Cassidy, Tina.
“Men’s Fashion Line Has Mob Ties to HBO’s ‘Sopranos.’ ” Boston Globe
10 Apr. 2003, 3rd ed.: D3.
[26] AD No. 29n23
(Sep. 4, 2001); Kahn, Gwynne, and Lorraine Mahru. “Thrift Shops.”
Retro Hell, 224; Marriott, Michel. “The Soul of Black Elegance.”
Esquire Gentleman Spring 1993: 117.
[27] Weiner, Allison
Hope. “The Bold Soprano.” EW 28 Mar. 2003: 6+.
[28] Daly, Steve.
“Bright Lights, Baked Ziti.” EW 7 Jan. 2000: 20-27.
[29] McNeil, Alex.
Total Television: The Comprehensive Guide to Programming From 1948 to
the Present, 4th ed. New York City: Penguin Books, 1996:
147-148, 822.
[30] Garcia, Chris.
“Apropos Look at Israeli Film.” AAS 4 Apr. 2003: E4.
[31] Paratroopers
(Masa Alunkot). 1977.
[32] Full Metal
Jacket. Natant/Warner Bros., 1987.
[33] Elliott, Bruce
et. al. “M*A*S*H.” Retro Hell, 122.
[34] Streets of
Yesterday (Rehovot Ha’Etmol). 1989.
[35] Gruner,
Jessica. “Duran Duran.” Retro Hell, 61-62.
[36] Chronically
Unfeasible (Cronicamente Inviável). Agravo Producoes
Cinematografica, 2000.
[37] Pottery Barn
Late Spring 2003 catalog: 68.
[38] Elliott. “Gass
Shoes.” Retro Hell, 79.
[39] NRSE, 741.
[40] AD No. 9n45
(Oct. 23, 1999).
[41] Eisler, Rob.
Stages. Freaktone Records, 2003.
[42] Hoskyns,
Barney. Waiting for the Sun: Strange Days, Weird Scenes and the
Sounds of Los Angeles. New York City: St. Martin's Press, 1996:
240-244, 247-250, 253-259, 268-281, 292-297, 300-303, 325-330.
[43] alt.culture,
96-97; Hoskyns, op. cit., 337.
[44] Clark-Madison,
Mike. “Don’t Just Sit There.” AC 18 Apr. 2003: 18.
[45] Apple, Lauri.
“Domain Gives Slusher Pain.” AC 9 May 2003: 19+; Apple. “Smart Growth is
Dead, Long Live Smart Growth.” AC 2 May 2003: 22.
[46] Pope, Colin.
“Xetel [sic.] in Last Gasps.” ABJ 25 Apr. 2003: A3.
[47] “RaceTrace: A
‘Fast-follower,’ Not Leader.” Oil Express 30 Apr. 2001: 1.
[48] Higginbotham,
Stacy. “Bank of America Growing.” ABJ 25 Apr. 2003: 1+.
[49] Rothbard,
Murray. The Mystery of Banking. New York City: Richardson &
Snyder, 1983: Ch. 8-11.
[50] AD No. 21 (Oct.
1, 2000); Ladendorf, Kirk, and Chuck Lindell. “Samsung to Upgrade Austin
Chip Plant.” AAS 25 Apr. 2003: A1.
[51] Aerosmith.
“Same Old Song and Dance.” Get Your Wings. Columbia KCQ-32847,
1974.
[52] Gottfried, Paul
Edward. After Liberalism: Mass Democracy in the Managerial State.
Princeton, N.J.: Princeton UP, 1999: 21-24; Rothenberg, Randall.
“Philosopher Robert Nozick vs. Philosopher John Rawls.” Esquire
Mar. 1983: 201.
[53] Cox, Stephen.
“Assumptions of Power.” Reason Mar. 1993: 34; Fernandez-Morera,
Dario. American Academia and the Survival of Marxist Ideas.
Westport, Conn.: Praeger, 1996.
[54] Kostelanetz,
Richard. “Exposing the ‘College Teaching’ Scam.” Liberty Nov.
1989: 64-66; Sowell, Thomas. Inside American Education: The Decline,
the Deception, the Dogmas. New York City: The Free Press, 1993.
[55] Rawls, Lou.
“Your Good Thing (Is About to End).” Your Good Thing. Capitol
325, 1969.
[56] Apple, Lauri.
“Place 2, 6: White or Right?” AC 9 May 2003: 24; Black, Louis. “Page
Two.” Idem., 8+; Clark-Madison, Mike. “Election 2003: By the Numbers.”
Idem., 28.
[57] Apple, op. cit.
[58] “Running in
Place (5).” Austin Chronicle 18 Apr. 2003: 26.
[59] Clark-Madison,
op. cit.
[60] Apple, and
Clark-Madison. “Mayor: When Wynn Won.” Austin Chronicle 9 May
2003: 24; Clark-Madison. “Election 2003: By the Numbers,” op. cit.;
Clark-Madison. “How Can Wynn Lose.” Austin Chronicle 25 Apr.
2003: 26+; Martin, Ken. “The Men Who Would be Mayor.” The Good Life.
Mar. 2003: 16-21.
[61] Clark-Madison.
“Election 2003: By the Numbers,” op. cit.
[62] Eisler, Dan.
Regime Change: A Strategy for Libertarian Victory and Dominance in
Travis County, 2002: 3.
[63] AD No. 46n19
(Feb. 10, 2003).
[64] Bradford, R.W.
“Hope for Libertarians?” Liberty May 2003: 13-14.
[65] Barnett, James.
"Crossroads in Indianapolis." Liberty Sep. 2002: 37-41.
[66] “Anti-drug War
Judge Joins LP.” LPN Apr. 2003: 1+.
[67] AD No. 21;
Buckley, William F. Jr. See You Later Alligator. Garden City,
N.Y.: Doublday & Co., 1985.
[68] McIntosh,
Deanne. “We Blog.” Australian PC World Feb. 2003: 161.