Blood flowed like borscht in the streets and steppes, before Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin, hetman of the Russian peoples, realized he'd invaded Ukraine because of bad intelligence.¹ He thought he was striking a blow at CDC Director Rochelle Walensky, not Ukrainian hetman Volodymyr Zelensky, who'd worked as a professional clown, not a figurative clown spouting misinformation during the coronavirus pandemic.²

So you can tell the difference: Walensky, the figurative clown, is the one who always looks bewildered, as though she's being confronted with a medical school examination she didn't know about and didn't study for.

Similarly, after more than two years, our local clowns in power persist in pushing whatever doesn't work against coronavirus, namely experimental drugs and face diapers, thereby perpetuating it, and then blaming the victims -- us -- for their failures when the case totals spike again.³ Two years plus, without a scintilla of acknowledgment, even among the alleged medical professionals in Austin Public Health, of the accumulating evidence their approach is wrong.

Nevertheless, in the faint hope actual medical knowledge will cut through the miasmal mindset of nattering, neurotic ninnies in this thumb-sucking Hooverville, easily bamboozled by the mumbo jumbo incantations of some quack,⁴ research since October further contends that mRNA injections and masks are both ineffective to counterproductive, making their users more susceptible to the virus, and spurring the virus to mutate, thereby prolonging the pandemic.⁵

For long-term adverse effects, the medical industry rule of thumb is to examine 10 years' worth of follow-up studies before proclaiming a drug truly safe and effective.⁶ Obviously, the mRNA drugs, first introduced in December 2020, are too new for that.⁷ Furthermore, a pre-pandemic study by the Institute of Medicine concludes, unfortunately, that a number of existing vaccines can and do cause death or illness.⁸ And that's when they've undergone the standard testing and review process, which these mRNA drugs haven't.⁹ Instead, drug companies released them in the United States only under emergency use authorization by the Food and Drug Administration.¹⁰

In short, their practices are bad for public health. So much for following the science.

However, pseudo-medical lockdowns and other tyrannical measures at the local power elite's behest have obscured the public's realization of and inhibited their reaction to the power elite's killing what made Austin special and feasting on the corpse, before, like avowed socialist councilman Greg Casar, grasping for bigger prey.¹¹ Note none of the anti-pandemic measures have halted the power elite's schemes to cram as many low-wage people as possible into tiny, expensive pods and mass transit, preferably downtown.¹² Simultaneously, they've presided over a tripling of the murder rate.¹³

But word is finally getting out: Austin's dropped in a recent ranking of best places to live.¹⁴ Tech companies are openly fretting rising cost of living and bad roads undermine Austin's attractiveness to do business.¹⁵

A new study concludes Austin has America's second-most overpriced housing market, after Boise, Idaho.¹⁶ When it comes to living wages, the City has resisted lifeguards' request for a wage of $22 per hour. Now the City has a third of the lifeguards it needs. Thus, more than half the municipal pools are closed.¹⁷ Then again, these aren't something government should operate anyway. The Industrial Workers of the World, trying to clamber from the dumpster of history, left there for dead with skull fractures, plans to unionize the workers at a South Austin Alamo Drafthouse.¹⁸

After three years of a municipal transportation safety program to eliminate traffic deaths, the figures are higher than when it started. Embarassingly, road congestion lowers the death toll.¹⁹ Apparently, no one who makes policy decisions around here has considered that their effort -- as with so much else -- is counterproductive, and they should do and say nothing.

The Austin police chief fired an officer for "helping the suspect in an alleged domestic violence assault evade arrest."²⁰ The City's civil rights officer faces investigation on accusations of flouting anti-virus "safety measures" in the office, and also creating a vaguer toxic environment there.²¹

Don't forget the latest water contamination, which even cost the water chief his job.²² The postmortem identified "human error" as the problem -- probably the water chief hiring jabbering subcons who shit in the water -- "veddy sorry to be fucking up your weekend, sahib."²³ They have to go back.²⁴ Now government-run utility Austin Energy schemes to raise its rates.²⁵

State appellate judges finally killed the City's attempted zoning ordnance revision, on the grounds that it violated property owners' rights.²⁶ Regardless, the City's trying to welsh on a contract about the privately run South Terminal at the airport, which ought to be a lesson to businesses about partnering with Austin on public-private partnerships.²⁷ Environmentalists succeeded in quashing a new music venue, thereby putting another nail in Austin's reputation as "Live Music Capital of the World."²⁸

Proving once again that South by Southwest is a hazard to Austinites, a gunman wounded four people in the early hours of March 20 on Sixth Street. The March 25 Chronicle barely mentioned the outburst, except some perfunctory anti-gun rhetoric that doesn't address the real problems.²⁹ Also, SXSW turned out to be a superspreader event, according to the April 1 Chronicle.³⁰

Barely two years in, and costs for Project Connect, the scheme to tear up downtown for mass transit, have already gone up by 40 percent, which means Steve Adler -- Austin's worst. Mayor. Ever -- and his confederates low-balled the figures when they conned voters into approving their latest boondoggle.³¹ As a bonus, Project Connect will destroy a nearly century-old burger joint, one of Austin's best.³² The City has forced the NAACP out of its office, probably so it can botch some other boondoggle.³³

Bevo and Butt-Heads

For their part, the educrats of the Austin Independent School District have complained about students, defied taxpayers,³⁴ played hooky,³⁵ and imposed face diapers on impressionable children.³⁶ Actually, that is consistent with their job. Former school teacher John Taylor Gatto

contends that public schools teach children seven basic lessons: intellectual confusion, acceptance of one's class position, indifference, emotional dependency, intellectual dependency, provisional self-esteem, and the fact that "one can't hide" or have privacy in government educational institutions -- all lessons that irreparably damage students' intellectual development.³⁷

For this the educrats now demand pay raises.³⁸ However, a record 2,106 staffers are quitting AISD. At that rate, we can finally abolish the school district.³⁹

Meanwhile, a UT Law School official plead guilty to stealing more than $1 million from the university.⁴⁰

Cultural Canapés

From watching a Hong Kong action movie, I learned of a real coffee-tea combination beverage, yuenyeung, which I could reproduce with existing ingredients in my kitchen. It's pretty good.⁴¹ A coworker brought in a bag of Nongshim shrimp crackers for our delectation. The product tasted like shrimp-flavored Cheetos. They'd probably be best as an appetizer in a seafood restaurant.⁴²

While at a bank, I marveled that the sound system played David Lee Roth-era Van Halen.⁴³ Used to be you'd never hear music like that in any respectable establishment, which suggests either the bank shares the recklessness of arena rockers backstage, when it comes to finances, or after all these decades, Van Halen's become just another form of toothless background music.⁴⁴

Media Indigest

After more than two years of self-induced hysteria over coronavirus, the Chroniclistas show signs of having burned out into low-energy losers -- the real "long COVID."⁴⁵ Case in point: The rag covered a May 14 rally headlined by former President Trump -- a big, fat, juicy orange target -- and it couldn't even muster the snark we've come to expect for such occasions. Very sad!⁴⁶

As of March 26, the Statesman has switched to an electronic-only format for its Saturday edition.⁴⁷

Tentacles of Empire

A drunk Mexican in a pickup killed a curry pedestrian in Cedar Park, then fell asleep before the police awoke him.⁴⁸ Some people are so blasé.

Business Roundup

In its May 13 issue, the Business Journal presented a Commercial Real Estate Award to the Indeed Tower downtown.⁴⁹ What the perky advertorial doesn't tell you is the namesake company's Web site has a terrible interface, possibly the worst of its kind. If the skyscraper's built the same way, you'll be stymied in the lobby. The building may also represent what economists term the skyscraper curse, an indication a boom has peaked.⁵⁰

On the Metro

Feb. 17: Shattered automotive glass twinkled at the new diverging diamond intersection of East Pecan Street and Dessau Road, just like I predicted last issue.⁵¹ On the 28th, I witnessed an 18-wheeler nearly get stuck in the intersection lanes. On May 11, the new design exacerbated a rush hour traffic snarl. On June 9, I witnessed a near-collision.

April 7: Witnessed a near-collision among multiple vehicles at Wells Branch Parkway intersection with Owen-Tech Boulevard.

April 15: Witnessed the aftermath of a multi-vehicle collision at the egress to an apartment complex along the the Highway 183 northbound frontage road.

May 14: Saw a '30s classic car driving along Hancock Drive.

June 6: Witnessed near-collisions at the Howard Lane-Interstate 35 intersection. The same thing occurred on June 17.

June 8: Saw a Rhode Island license plate for the first time in my life. It was attached to a hybrid driving too slow in front of me, so I drove it off the road, dragged the driver out of the car, and threw him a beating. On June 13, I saw a New Hampshire license plate. That driver drove respectfully.

Neighborhood News

On April 29, whilst buying dental chewing gum at The Shops at Arbor Walk, I encountered my friend Rick McGinnis. We chatted a few minutes in the checkout line and caught up.

Braker Center office park is the subject of a bankruptcy dispute.⁵² Rising rents drove a fitness rental equipment business to Cedar Park.⁵³ A brewery plans to close on Halloween, to make way for an office building.⁵⁴ St. David's HealthCare plans to build a $33 million, 80-bed behavioral hospital, part of a big metro expansion project.⁵⁵ A medical office and ten businesses have opened in the neighborhood.⁵⁶ An organic produce delivery service has acquired a competitor.⁵⁷

KXAN-TV's traffic Web page reported collisions at Duval Road and MoPac Expressway on Feb. 9 and 24 and May 17. KTXX-FM reported collisions at Research Boulevard and Burnet Road on Feb. 18, at Cedar Bend Drive and Renfert Way on March 22, at Gracy Farms Lane and Metric Boulevard on May 6, and on Stonehollow Drive on May 26. On May 2, I saw the aftereffects of a collision -- a shattered windshield in the intersection at Metric and Parmer Lane.

NOTES