Austin Dispatches |
No. 178 |
Nov. 6, 2014 |
The latest Halloween was subdued, in the same ways as
recent Christmases: fewer decorations, fewer songs on the radio, and
everything holiday-related apart from the stores concentrated the last week
of October.[1]
Regardless, I managed to have a good time with
two-thirds of my seasonal ventures.[2] For
example, another salsera with girlfriend potential – let’s call her … “Jacqueline
Ferrera” – reappeared at an Oct. 18 Halloween social at Go Dance’s South
Austin studio, in costume. “Are you supposed to be Pebbles Flintstone?”[3]
“No, just a generic cavewoman,” she laughed.
“Well, you look nice … in a primitive sort of way.”
The exception was Halloween itself. Another salsa
social at another studio in South Austin was underattended at 10:30 p.m.,
and nothing else going on inspired me to do anything besides go home. Before
I left, a black cat trotted by in the parking lot. A few seconds later, I
saw a calico cat. I don’t know the implications of that.
Maybe everyone’s realized a fest for frights is
superfluous, when we’ve got permanent war, grinding poverty, dispossession
from our country by power elite-manipulated foreign hordes, and spreading
fatal viruses.[4]
A nurse who’d treated Ebola patients in West Africa arrived in Austin by
plane and voluntarily quarantined herself.[5]
I wouldn’t’ve guessed 25 years ago that Axl Rose would be prescient about
the future as he described immigrants who “start some mini-Iran or spread
some fucking disease.”
[6]
Cultural Canapés
Opal Divine’s in South Austin held a “Seinfeld” quiz
Sep. 18. I thought about participating, but the $5 cover provoked a
Costanzaesque reaction.[7]
This fall marks the first time in 50 years that the
broadcast TV networks don’t carry Saturday morning cartoons.[8]
I remember in the ‘70s that the networks used to run prime-time preview
specials the night before the new season.[9]
Director Richard Linklater is filming a sequel to
“Dazed and Confused” through Nov. 29.[10]
Austin Death
Watch
The Texas attorney general wrote an opinion that the
city’s bag ban may be illegal.[11]
The Sep. 4 Statesman reports that Capital Metro spending is up while
ridership is down.[12] The
Travis County commissioners voted a $5 million pay raise for county
employees.[13] It’s
probably just a coincidence, but local tax increases from four local
governments will hike the typical county homeowner’s property taxes by $291.[14]
Moreover, Austin property owners are on the hook for the City Council’s $3.5
billion city budget for next year.[15]
Even the Chronicle questions the Council’s practice of
trying to draft ordinances late at night during its meetings.[16]
Specifically, Austin’s new ordinance regulating transportation network
companies is only temporary. Left unaddressed by the local power elite is
why the taxi companies who pushed for the regulations themselves require
special licenses to operate, or why people can’t just pick up the phone and
have friends drive them as a favor, instead of tapping on a computer screen
to schedule a lift from a vehicle sporting a pretentious, effeminate pink
handlebar mustache.[17]
To compensate for its foray into good sense, the
Chronicle also simpered and cooed that the annual early September public
self-affirmation by homosexuals and other deviants downtown has spread out
further – sort of like a venereal epidemic.[18]
UT football home games also occurred during this time.[19]
The paper doesn’t tell us whether this commingling of both groups into one
big gridlock-induced morass was coincidence or some puckish prank on the
part of city event planners.[20]
Speaking of morasses, the Sep. 19 Business Journal
reports that proposed changes to regulations about special events, in the
wake of last year’s South by Southwest fatalities, are jeopardizing other
event plans.[21]
A college student died of a drug overdose at the ACL Festival.[22]
Appropriately, the Austin school district named its new
all-boys junior high, that opened for the school year the same day the ACLU
filed a civil rights complaint about it, after former mayor and reckless
driver Gus Garcia.[23]
Garcia’s predecessor, Sen. Kirk Watson, D-Austin,
brought in Jimmy Cliff for a fundraising, well, reggae night.[24]
That suits the career politician, because the bigger they are, the harder
they fall, unless Rock Howard’s the challenger.[25]
In that case, Hitler could coast to victory. Of course, Hitler at least
didn’t pretend to be a libertarian.
The Austin police chief fired yet another policeman.[26]
Tentacles of
Empire
A Chronicle investigation found that the Austin
Regional Intelligence Center, a post-9/11 creation that shares “information”
between federal and local law enforcement, has also been monitoring
good-government groups and political organizations seeking to change the
status quo. Nice to see the goo-goos lumped in with terrorists and criminals
by the sort of government functionaries they back. The question is whether
the goo-goos have the brains and the balls to change their thinking, then
make the necessary changes to government.[27]
Bevo and
Butt-Heads
The FBI reports that Cuban spies have been recruiting American academics.[28] I though they did that already.
At UT, a coach has suspended another jock for an
assault charge off the court.[29]
Meanwhile, the Oct. 29 Daily Texan reports former UT quarterback Vince Young
is the diversity and community engagement officer for program alumni
relations in the Division of Diversity and Community Engagement.[30]
Given that Young’s professional football career memorably included a game
where he threw his shoulder pads into the crowd, scuffled with the coach in
the locker room, and stormed out of the stadium, he should bring some
excitement to a normally eye-glazing project.[31]
Neighborhood News
The new owners changed the name of my complex: Folio
Apartments.[32]
Meanwhile, the manager informed tenants that “excessive animal feces” shut
down one of the pools for maintenance. Excessive? I knew there was a reason
I never swim there.[33]
On the night of Sep. 15, I spared the life of a dumbass
pedestrian walking south along the northbound lane of Burnet Road. When I
write he was walking along the lane, I mean he was in the lane, rather than
keeping to the shoulder. Fortunately for my car’s exterior, I saw him soon
enough to slow down, switch lanes, and call him a dumb motherfucker, in a
dismissive tone one usually deploys for chronically stupid relatives. He may
have been oblivious to his own safety, but he understood that.
An heirloom jewelry buyer off Burnet left town, the
details in dispute.[34]
On Sep. 9, I witnessed the aftermath of an auto collision at Gracy Farms
Lane and the egress to The Village at Gracy Farms.
On Sep. 10, I attended a neighborhood forum for mayoral
and Council District 7 candidates. Once again, I was motivated to move out
of town. Bureaucrats in government and their non-governmental auxiliaries
predominated among the candidates, and even the few private citizens running
accept the gestalt of government involvement in everything, including the
need for more and better planning.[35]
To hear them speak, you’d think Austin didn’t already have
decades of implemented plans and planners running
amok. Perhaps this is inevitable, given the deep-rooted mindset found
among government, academia, and big business, but couldn’t somebody running
have articulated a comprehensive laissez-faire alternative to these city
Soetoros?[36]
La Morada has closed.[37]
Three eateries, two salons, a shoe store, a sweets shop, and a chiropracty
have opened. For once, I must agree with a Chronicle restaurant review. A
brewery has expanded.[38] KEYE-TV
has a new news director.[39]
Further
Political Follies
The gubernatorial bid of Sen. Wendy “Abortion Barbie”
Davis, D-Fort Worth, crashed and burned Nov. 4 in a humiliating fashion
consistent with the rest of her campaign, in which the tawdry milestones of
her life, more befitting a soap opera villainess than a public servant, were
exposed for all the world to savor, the Mexicans voted en mass for one of
their own in her party’s primary, and she took flak for ads attacking her
main opponent for being a cripple.[40] That last
part might’ve worked in Texas had she explicitly linked the attacks with an
older worldview “which still respected the notion of the Book of Leviticus
that those destined for high service must be perfect in body,” but such
approach requires more familiarity with scripture than nostril-flaring
yuppettes like her are known for.[41]
Al-Qaeda’s expanding operations into India.[42]
I suspect the terrorist group has lost patience with the help desk personnel
who handle its computer issues. Meanwhile, Brooklynites berated and chased
away a couple of Arab civil rights activists.[43]
The “assailants” have done more for national security than the entire U.S.
government the past 13 years.
Media Indigest
The newsstands at Whole Foods sport two new titles.
Austin Way is another glossy lifestyle magazine about famous locals
satisfied with their glossy lives and living in houses with quirky interior
décor that yet somehow seems impersonal. yBitcoin is a glossy print
publication devoted to explaining and advocating the online payment system.
The former function’s convenient, because a few readers have asked me about
the topic and I had no answers or insights, because I don’t understand it,
either. Actually, I’d anticipated the first printed comprehensive
explanation about Bitcoin would appear in a book.
Meanwhile, the latest issue of Austin MD contains a
10-page feature on the bachelors and bachelorettes of the second annual Date
a Doc Charity Auction. Of the doctor bachelorettes, half of them look like
they’d get the same lectures about weight, diet and cholesterol as the rest
of us at their annual check-ups. Moreover, they’re just as picky and
demanding about their potential suitors as their less-credentialed
counterparts. You’d probably get more attention as a cash-paying patient
than as a date.[44]
Business Roundup
A federal jury has sentenced to prison executives of a
company that never even bothered to respond to
my resume.[45]
The U.S. Postal Service announced it’s
cutting rates to compete with private carriers.[46]
The August Community Impact Newspaper includes a guide to Central Texas
antique shopping.[47]
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NOTES
[1] AD No. 121
(Jan. 5, 2009); AD No. 149 (Feb. 11, 2012); AD No. 160 (Jan. 8,
2013); Barragan, James, Marty Toohey, and Andrew McLemore. “Fan Fest
and Halloween Merge, Draw Thousands.” AAS 1 Nov. 2014: A1+.
[2] Eisler,
Dan. “Re: Halloween 2014.” E-mail to Chris Loyd, 2 Nov. 2014.
[3] Lenberg,
Jeff. Who’s Who in Animated Cartoons: An International Guide to
Film and Television’s Award-Winning and Legendary Animators. New
York City: Applause Theatre & Cinema Books, 2006: 19.
[4] AD No. 159n2
(Dec. 25, 2012); King, Michael. “Premature Deaths.” AC 24 Oct. 2014:
14+; Kluger, Jeffrey et al. “Fear Factor.” Time 20 Oct. 2014:
30-34; Sullivan, Natalie. “Student on Ebola Flight to Return to
University.” DT 4 Nov. 2014: 1-2.
[5] Roser,
Mary Ann, and Julie Chang. “Nurse Lauded for Voluntary Quarantine.”
AAS 30 Oct. 2014: A1+.
[6] Guns n’
Roses. “One in a Million.” G N’ R Lies. Geffen 9 24198-2,
1988; Wall, Mick. W.A.R.: The Unauthorized Biography of William
Axl Rose. New York City: St. Martin’s Press, 2008.
[7]
“Community.” AC 19 Sep. 2014: 54.
[8] “Dads –
Era Comes to Close As Saturday Morning Cartoons Snuffed Out.”
Norwich (Conn.) Bulletin 27 Oct. 2014: 6.
[9] Burke,
Timothy, and Kevin Burke. Saturday Morning Fever. New York
City: St. Martin’s Griffin, 1999: 82.
[10] “In
Brief.” ABJ 3 Oct. 2014: 11.
[11] Lindell,
Chuck, and Asher Price. “Bag Bans May Be Violating State Law.” AAS
30 Aug. 2014: A1+.
[12] Wear,
Ben. “Flush Cap Metro’s Ridership Shrinking.” AAS 4 Sep. 2014: A1+.
[13] Lim,
Andra. “Travis Employees to Get Raises.” AAS 4 Sep. 2014: B1+.
[14] Idem.,
“How That Typical Tax Bill Rises $291.” 29 Sep. 2014: A1+.
[15]
Curington, Jennifer. “City Council Adopts $3.5 Billion Budget.” CIN
25 Sep. 2014, Northwest Austin ed.: 1+.
[16] Barbaro,
Nick. “No Way to Run a City.” AC 3 Oct. 2014: 16.
[17] AD No.
162n22 (March 30, 2013);
Brennan, Jason. Libertarianism: What Everyone Needs to Know.
New York City: Oxford UP, 2012: 145; Hoffberger, Chase. “Buy
Yourselves a Ride – Legally!” AC 24 Oct. 2014: 22.
[18] Bauer,
Henry H. The Origin, Persistence and Failings of HIV/AIDS Theory.
Jefferson, N.C.: McFarland & Co., 2007; Hayden, Deborah. Pox:
Genius, Madness, and the Mysteries of Syphilis. New York City:
Basic Books, 2003; Messer, Kate X., Sarah Marloff, and Nina
Hernandez. “Gayest. September. Ever.” AC 5 Sep. 46-47; Rappoport,
Jon. AIDS Inc.: Scandal of the Century. San Bruno, Calif.:
Human Energy Press, 1988; Shilts, Randy. And the Band Played On:
Politics, People, and the AIDS Epidemic, rev. ed. New York City:
Penguin Books, 1988.
[19] Golden,
Cedric, and Kirk Bohls. “All Downhill.” AAS 7 Sep. 2014: C1.
[20] AD No.
165n28 (July 12, 2013).
[21]
Swiatecki, Chad. “When the Chips Are Down.” ABJ 19 Sep. 2014: 4-6.
[22] McLemore,
Andrew. “Police: Woman Dies After Taking Ecstasy During Festival.”
AAS 11 Oct. 2014: B3.
[23] AD No.
121n23; Taboada, Melissa B. “Austin District Debuts All-Boys
Middle School.” AAS 4 Sep. 2014: B1+.
[24] Cliff,
Jimmy [James Chambers]. “The Harder They Come.” The Harder They
Come – Original Soundtrack Recording, expanded ed. Hip-O/Island
440 069 495-2, 2003; Cliff. “Reggae Night.” The Power and the
Glory. Columbia FC 38986, 1983; Concert Under the Stars.
Advertisement. AC 26 Sep. 2014: 17.
[25] “Texas
Legislature.” AC 10 Nov. 2006: 25.
[26]
“Headlines.” AC 31 Oct. 2014: 20.
[27] Anderson,
John. “ARIC and Privacy.” AC 29 Aug. 2014: 22.
[28] Federal
Bureau of Investigation. “Cuban Intelligence Targeting of Academia.”
Private Sector Advisory, 2 Sep. 2014.
[29] Sullivan.
“Walker Suspended on Assault Charge.” DT 15 Sep. 2014: 1-2.
[30] Wilts,
Alex. “University, Powers Seek Continued Diversity.” DT 29 Oct.
2014: 1-2.
[31] Wiedmer,
Mark. “Are Titans on the Verge of Another QB Controversy?”
Chattanooga (Tenn.) Times Free Press 20 Sep. 2010: 17.
[32] AD No.
177n32 (Aug. 23, 2014);
Hanlon, Erica. Letter to Stonehollow Apartments tenants, 23 Oct.
2014.
[33] Idem., 26
Aug. 2014.
[34] Day,
Jeff. Letter to Editor. AC 12 Sep. 2014: 8+; Hoffberger. “Heirloom
Wisdom.” AC 29 Aug. 2014: 24.
[35] East,
Andy. “Mr./Ms. Mayor.” ATX Man Fall 2014: 42-46.
[36] Corsi,
Jerome R. The Obama Nation: Leftist Politics and the Cult of
Personality. New York City: Threshold Editions, 2008: 45; King.
“Looking for Bums.” AC 26 Sep. 2014: 10+; Orum, Anthony M. Power,
Money and the People: The Making of Modern Austin. Austin,
Texas: Texas Monthly Press, 1987.
[37]
“Closings.” CIN Sep. 2014, Northwest Austin ed.: 7.
[38] “Food &
Drink” ATX Man Fall 2014: 15; Haupt, Melanie. “Darn Shame.”
AC 19 Sep. 2014: 72; “Impacts.” CIN Aug. 2014, Northwest Austin ed.:
4-5; “Now Open. CIN Sep. 2014, Northwest Austin ed.: 6; Idem., Oct.
2014, Northwest Austin ed.: 6
[39] Dinges,
Gary. “KEYE’s New News Boss Has Texas Background.” AAS 26 Sep. 2014:
B6-7.
[40] Draper,
Robert. “The Legend of Wendy Davis.” New York Times Magazine
16 Feb. 2014: MM18; Tilove, Jonathan. “Tea Party Surges As Democrats
Struggle.” AAS 6 Mar. 2014: A1+; Tilove, and Laylan Copelin. “GOP
Landslide.” AAS 5 Nov. 2014: A1+; “Wheelchair Ad Rolls Back on
Davis.” USAT 14 Oct. 2014: 6A.
[41] Johnson,
Paul. The Birth of the Modern: World Society 1815-1830. New
York City: HarperCollins Publishers, 1991: 93.
[42] “India
Sounds Alert as al Qaeda Sets Up a Sub-Continent Wing.” Hindustan
Times 5 Sep. 2014, Guragon ed.: 1+.
[43] Tracy,
Thomas, and Joe Stepansky. “Arab Target in B’klyn Bias Hit.” NYDN 4
Sep. 2014: 8.
[44] “Come
Rock the Red Carpet for Austin’s Hottest and Most Admirable Docs.”
Austin MD Sep./Oct. 2014: 52-61.
[45] Copelin,
Laylan. “Ex-ArthroCare Executives Get Prison Time for Fraud.” AAS 30
Aug. 2014: B4.
[46] Stevens,
Laura. “U.S. Mail Cuts Prices, Chafing UPS and FedEx.” WSJ 5 Sep.
2014, Eastern ed.: B1-2.
[47]
Curington, Jennifer, and Amy Denney. “Regional Antiques Guide.” CIN
Aug. 2014, Northwest Austin ed.: 21-23.