The wraiths of Christmas past feel my wrath in …

A Very Crimson Christmas

An avowed socialist attempted a Christmas-season shooting spree at his Colorado high school before turning his gun on himself and turning into a good socialist, i.e., a dead one.[1] At this time of year, we should all be thankful his ilk can’t rack up the body counts like they used to.[2] Of course, if others at the school had been armed, they could’ve stopped rampaging socialism almost immediately, and sent a strong message to other would-be Millennial Marxoids. You let them get away with school shootings, and next they’re imposing smoking bans, campaign finance restrictions, nationalized health care, and a 100 percent tax on your property.[3]

Anyway, reportedly, the dead red had consulted the original “Anarchist Cookbook” for pointers before his rampage, prompting the author to denounce his 1971 work yet again.[4] I’ve read that book, surprisingly available in the University of Texas main library stacks, and suspect the shooter was so ineffective because he relied on a reference work that’s obsolete, particularly in the sections on weaponry, when it’s not erroneous or pointless (e.g., the infamous psychoactive substance in banana peels that requires hours of hard labor in the kitchen pulping pounds of peels to extract for ingestion).[5] The content therein has since been surpassed in books published by Paladin Press, Gun Digest Books, Privateer Publications, Bloomfield Press, Skyhorse, Feral House, Festering Publications and the now-defunct Loompanics.[6]

Turning now to other worthless parasitic collectivists, the Occupy Austin crowd has inadvertently become useful for somebody: A Chronicalista photographer has turned the entire ordeal, from its half-cocked beginnings to its urine-scented denouement, into a photobook the Chronicle recommends for a Christmas gift. Retail price: $59.99. My Christmas wish: The Occupiers wax wroth over this attempt to capitalize on them (“the photos, man, they should belong to the people”), thereby triggering an intrapinko fracas that lingers long into the new year.[7] 

Tentacles of Empire

Gunmen descended from Barbary pirates slew a former Austinite and overseas teacher as he blithely jogged through the war-torn streets of Benghazi.[8]

American and British agents have been spying on World of Warcraft and other online games after suspecting terrorists might use them to evade surveillance. So many spies participated, that a “deconfliction” group formed to keep them from stumbling over each other.[9]

A new report concludes U.S. military psychiatrists participated in torturing Muslim prisoners, and recommends against them doing so again.[10] However, as Thomas Szasz has pointed out, psychiatry itself for centuries has functioned as an arm of the State.[11]

Austin Death Watch

Disgraced District Attorney Rosemary Lehmberg clings to office, long after she should’ve resigned and despite mounting pressure. Doubtless the power elite covering for its own. The Chronicle frets forcing her out of office could create a new standard for local politicians, who seem to have a proclivity for public drunkenness.[12]

Urban rail proponents are split over where to locate a north-south line between Downtown and the Capitol and U districts. Since these proponents are trapped in the mental framework of insisting other people involuntarily pay for their schemes, it never occurs to them to let private concerns – businessmen or volunteer groups – figure it out.[13] Statesman columnist Ben Wear writes that the Texas Transportation Department worsened the West Cesar Chavez Street- Lake Austin Boulevard rush-hour traffic flow, so the department and the city will try to fix it again, even though that can’t agree on how to do it or when it’ll happen.[14]

Austin Community College is cutting hours for part-time teachers below the 30-hours-a-week threshold for Obamacare eligibility.[15]

LP Death Watch

Texas Libertarian Party chairman Pat Dixon announced the state affiliate will field a record number of candidates in the 2014 elections at all levels, including 22 from Travis County.[16] As with many recent partyarch utterances, this is less impressive than would seem at first glance.[17]

For example, the Chronicle still insists on calling the party “far-right.”[18] Unfortunately, that hasn’t been true since the Portland convention, when the since-dominant fake faction stripped an ideologically based party of its ideology. The composition of the newly announced platform committee ensures that defect will continue to cap party vote totals.[19]

Without the rigorous ideology the fakes so nonchalantly repudiated since Portland, they have nothing – nothing with which to win, and nothing by which they can credibly represent Americans, who are being dispossessed from their own country, once voters realize the LP is just living off its past reputation that doesn’t square with its current existence.[20] Moreover, without that ideology, they are nothing – just empty shells seeking a place at the public trough to fill their meaningless lives.

Cultural Canapés

T.R. Fehrenbach, the Texas historian, died Dec. 1, age 88.[21] For those who want to make sense of Texas, I always recommend his “Seven Keys to Texas” as the first book to consult, and his magnum opus “Lone Star: A History of Texas and the Texans” as the second.[22]

Greg Ginn has reformed Black Flag and released a new album of material for the first time since the ‘80s on his Taylor-based SST Records.[23]

Business Roundup

Mattel now produces a Jennifer Lopez Barbie doll – Jenny from the box.[24] It fails to reach the ridiculousness of the Sigmund Freud action figure: comes complete with discreditable theories.[25]

Despite the local power elite’s hoplophobia, two new firearms makers, using 3D printers, are operating in Travis County.[26]

Campbell Soup Co. introduced two clunkers to its product line. Both the cheeseburger and the Philly-style cheesesteak soups lack enough meat, unlike their respective equivalents, the H-E-B sirloin burger store brand and the Whole Foods cheesesteak soup. Campbell’s cheeseburger cheese is the same yellow viscous substance used as a nacho topping at concession stands. In fairness, Campbell’s split pea soup beats all its competitors.

Neighborhood News

Some Hindu neighbors moved out of the complex. They had the Mexican movers toss a large beige leather couch in the Dumpster.

At The Domain, an eyewear shop, a dentist’s office, and two clothing stores have opened.[27]A sports bar has closed.[28] A jiujitsu gym has opened near Burnet Road and Braker Lane.[29] One Indian restaurant has replaced another at The Market at Parmer Lane shopping plaza.[30] A nontechnology company off Longhorn Boulevard has merged with an Ohio counterpart.[31]

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