The Scimitar of Beantown


Austin Dispatches No. 163 May 5, 2013

I first thought the bomber was a commuter disgruntled about the Boston Marathon making him late for work. But Mr. Fusion pointed out the marathon coincided with Patriot’s Day, a Massachusetts holiday to commemorate the battles of Lexington and Concord.[1]


Instead, foreign Muslims on welfare are the culprits.[2] Since 9/11, I’ve advocated expelling foreign Muslims from the United States, as part of the solution to our foreign problems. Obviously, the other part is forcing the American power elite to cease meddling abroad, or better still, replacing said power elite to cease meddling abroad.


But my suggestion of deporting them en masse and imposing an overall immigration moratorium to provide for the common defense has provoked shock and outrage from most everyone. Even the most jingoist Freepers flinched at throwing out the wretched refuse. (This approach to immigration has other broad benefits for Americans, but because of time constraints, I won’t address them in this issue.)[3]


And that’s when they could grasp the concept. For example, libertoid policy wonk Jonathan Rausch spent a year in England in the ‘90s, during which he discovered that country was a rebuke to his disbelief  “in character as the root of national difference.”[4]


I wish I could deem it a conceit shared only by the fakes and flakes, but the entire libertarian movement in aggregate, to its detriment, stubbornly persists in its inability or unwillingness to recognize racial or ethnic self-identity, and the accompanying differences, as a big motivator in human affairs.[5] Not only do most libertarians share belief in one of the big conceptual flaws in an otherwise sound ideology, the power elite shares that same belief.[6] Combined with an unfortunate tendency among libertarians to pretend that politics doesn’t involve politics – the real clashing of interests around the questions What's in It for Me? And Whose Side Are You On? – small wonder they can’t connect with their natural constituents.[7] Libertarianism is worthwhile to the extent that it benefits Americans, which in turn benefits libertarians.


For example, might not have to scrounge for nickels during its fundraisers if its editorial content came out more clearly for Americans and against knee-jerk support of foreign murderers.[8] Extirpating Muslims from American soil means “we don’t have to fight them here” if they aren’t here, which means we’ll have peace and quiet.[9]


Only most libertarians, like most everyone else, have for the last 12 years regarded raising the National Question, an inherent challenge to the status quo, to be too distasteful.[10] So much for radical alternatives.[11] At best, you’ll hear a reaffirmation of Ellis Island nostalgia from them, which ignores immigrants’ baggage, then and now.


This mentality contributed to immigration policy that let Chechens, mountain bandits, move to Boston where they killed three and injured another 264, while the rest of the metropolis’ residents submitted to a de facto police state as government agents searched for the killers.[12] Earlier, a financial analyst and naturalized American citizen from Pakistan tried to blow up New York City’s Times Square with a car bomb.[13]


How many more Americans have die from terrorists before the rest of us wise up? Real immigration reform would repeal the Immigration Act of 1965 with something like the often erroneously maligned Immigration Act of 1924, only stricter.[14] Incidentally, this is the humane solution.


Further Political Follies


Speaking of foreign menaces, suspected crypto-Muslim imposter Barack Hussein Obama unnecessarily showed up at a memorial service for the dead in the fertilizer plant explosion in West. Aside from the PR angle, he probably wanted to get away from his nagging wife and stuff his face with kolaches.[15]


Actual champagne socialists celebrated in the streets of Airstrip One at Margaret Thatcher’s death.[16] I appreciate the attitude, although the target of ire is less deserving than others. My parents visited the Olde Sod in 1987 and reported the natives absolutely despised her then, too. No wonder: She was the only Brit with any grit.


Speaking of Brits, according to Independent Political Report, Libertarian Party national chairman Geoff Neale engaged in an e-mail argument with a brain-dead pinko loser (but I repeat myself) about the direction of the LP – and lost.[17] Usually, you can't beat nothing with nothing.

I Got Yer Change of Address Right Here


Recently, my brother inquired about us rooming together in New York City while he’s studying advanced techniques in hip-hop and dubstep music production from a program there. This is less bizarre than you might think.[18] Rob studied at the Berklee College of Music, and we were the first kids in our neighborhood to listen to rap, back when the mainstream media picked up on it as a New York phenomenon.[19]


Anyway, most of the conversation dealt with the financial reasons against living there. Eventually, Rob realized the tax bite goes to support Mayor Mike Bloomberg so he can act like a Nazi.[20] No deal, Bloomie.


On the Town


April 18: At a libertarian get-together at the Black Star Co-op, a hipster couple sat nearby. Maybe I’m too old to appreciate the new hipsters, but I still don’t think a guy wearing a bucket hat, which my paternal grandfather wore in 1973 to keep the sun off his head, qualifies as hip, no matter how ironic his intention.[21]


April 20: Because of an inquiry from Dad, while my fellow Austinites were celebrating Earth Day in advance and/or getting stoned at the Austin Reggae Fest, I burned up gasoline driving to Berdoll Pecan Candy and Gift Co. in Cedar Creek. Verdict: not worth the sin. If you're intent on pecans or pecan sweets from Texas, try Royalty Pecan Farms near Caldwell instead. On Earth Day itself, allergies kept me from accomplishing anything until after 4 p.m.[22] Fuck nature.


Apr. 26: Sam’s Club mailed a circular announcing I could enter the warehouse and shop without a membership card for the weekend. I’d never been inside the Gateway location, and hadn’t been in a Sam’s Club – or was it Costco? – in about 15 years. However, I can’t say that I missed anything. I can’t justify buying food in bulk, with proportionally higher price tags, and everything else I can buy elsewhere, often for less. But I filled my exercise quotient walking around the store for about an hour.


Bevo and Butt-Heads


On March 28, the University of Texas e-mailed students to warn them not to thwack returning bats with brooms or tennis rackets if they find them roosting under dorm beds or elsewhere in human habitats. Why aren’t I surprised an academic institution is displaying reverse speciesism and taking the side of a filthy flying rodent over the creatures who financially support the University?[23]


Business Roundup


The press reports Colorado’s Medical Marijuana Enforcement Division has bungled its operations and cost the state money.[24]


The Business Journal designated Georgetown a “North Austin suburb” in an April 12 brief. [25] I thought the designation premature until I saw the increasing development around Interstate 35 and Westinghouse Road.


Cultural Canapés


Chimp expert Jane Goodall wowed a crowd in Georgetown with a rendition of “Yes, We Have No Bananas Today” on April 2.[26]


The April 11 Onion decries the prevalence of Commonwealth actors playing Americans in American film and television and American actors playing Brits in British film and television.[27]


The April 5 Chronicle surprisingly includes a feature on San Antonio’s soul music scene of the ‘60s and early ‘70s – surprising, because it’s San Antonio and Austin’s tastemakers like to pretend the city to the south doesn’t exist.[28]


The denizens of the Web sites I frequent eagerly pissed on Roger Ebert’s fresh corpse, much of it having to do with his status as a film critic versus a mere reviewer. To buck this trend, I found Ebert’s reviews useful, particularly in partnership with Gene Siskel on their succession of review shows, in terms of confirmation.[29] Gradually, I discovered my cinematic taste overlapped with theirs, to a far greater degree than the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. Thus, if I heard about some film and thought I might enjoy it, and Siskel and Ebert both recommended it, that was a good bet that I would enjoy it. If nothing else, their shows included clips of the movies they reviewed. This method also works in reverse, with the Chronicle’s reviewers.


National Geographic has been advertising online its TV special on the 1980s.[30] If I tune in to National Geographic programming I expect footage of sharks and tundra. When did it become VH1?[31] I suppose I should be grateful for incremental improvements, since cultural gatekeepers first tried to pretend for a long time that the ‘80s never happened.[32] Then they tried to misrepresent it. But having written about facets of the era intensively four times in the last five years,[33] I feel somewhat proprietary toward it, and I became annoyed with what looks like an utterly conventional presentation with nothing that you couldn’t learn by reading a World Book Year Book published during that decade.[34] Even the ‘70s gets better treatment now.


e163fig1Austin Death Watch


After disgracing herself in a drunk-driving arrest, Travis County District Attorney Rosemary Lehmberg vowed to cling to power, even though she’s serving time in jail. Meanwhile, a county resident filed a petition to remove her from office, as specified by state law.[35] My guess is the power elite’ll spin this to promote mass transit.


Later, police arrested two Department of Public Safety officials for drunk driving.[36] Apparently, government officials can’t hold their liquor. At this rate, if you need to conduct civic business just visit the drunk tank.


Forbes magazine ranks Austin the fifth drunkest city in America, behind Boston.[37] Austin might’ve ranked first if the magazine had considered our local statists’ propensity to spend money like drunken sailors.


For example, even Chronicle questions the city’s $1.38 million Office of Sustainability, which does what environmentalists do best: nag people until being pro-pollution seems like a worthy stance. These types are always going on about how finite resources are, except when it comes to taxpayers’ money – an attitude truly unsustainable.[38] Meanwhile, city bureaucracy is also stifling efforts at urban agriculture.[39] Travis County commissioners are planning to spend another $60 million on a court administration building downtown.[40]


Neighborhood News


Through a series of hyperlinks I learned about the existence of the Spy and Private-Eye Museum, at the Spy Exchange off Burnet Road. The Austin Police Department renamed the North Austin substation after a slain officer.[41]


Community Impact Newspaper’s local edition reports three more restaurants will open in the neighborhood, as part of an increasing number of eateries in Northwest Austin.[42] Meanwhile, a furniture store and a furrier have opened in the neighborhood.[43]


Notes in the Margins


To save money on frequently replacing manganese batteries on my new desktop's peripherals, I substituted a wired keyboard and mouse. Overall, they work well, but several times daily the computer system experiences "hiccups" in responsiveness. Apparently, these are such petty annoyances that neither the manufacturers, nor outside print or Internet advisers, nor my fellow technical writers have any information on solving them.[44]


Later, after nine years of reliable service, my surge protector died.[45] I bought a new model uninterruptable power supply/surge protector from the same manufacturer. However, the installation and setup instructions were muddled, probably because the company didn’t hire me.[46]


Home Index


[1] Rothbard, Murray N. Conceived in Liberty, Vol. III: Advance to Revolution, 1760-1775. 1976. Rpt. Auburn, Ala.: Ludwig von Mises Institute, 1999: 17-18.

[2] Smith, Erin, John Zaremba and Hillary Chabot. “Tsarnaev Case Exposes Faults in State Welfare.” Boston Herald 1 May 2013: 4.

[3] Auster, Lawrence. The Path to National Suicide: An Essay on Immigration and Multiculturalism. Monterey, Calif.: The American Immigration Control Foundation, 1990; Debating Immigration. Ed. Carol M. Swain. New York City: Cambridge UP, 2007; Francis, Samuel T. America Extinguished: Mass Immigration and the Disintegration of American Culture. Monterey, Va.: Americans for Immigration Control, 2002.

[4] Rausch, Jonathan. “The British Disease.” Reason Jul. 1996: 41.

[5] Rothbard. “The End of the Secular Century.” Liberty May 1989: 13.

[6] AD 147n17 (Dec. 16, 2011).

[7] Kuhn, David Paul. The Neglected Voter: White Men and the Democratic Dilemma. New York City: Palgrave Macmillan, 2007: 10; Lynch, Michael. “No Escape.” Reason Aug./Sep. 1999: 20; Pfeffer, Jeffrey. Managing With Power: Politics and Influence in Organizations. Boston: Harvard Business School Press, 1992: 10-12; Pitney, John J. Jr. The Art of Political Warfare. Norman, Okla.: U of Oklahoma P, 2000: 5; Sailer, Steve. Online posting. "Charter Cities Setback: Who could have imagined?" 25 Sep. 2012. Steve Sailer: iSteve <>.

[8] Raimondo, Justin [Dennis Raimondo]. “Liberty in the Age of Terrorism.” 3 May 2013 <>; Raimondo. “Who Funds the War Party?” Idem., 25 Feb. 2013 <>.

[9] Suskind, Ron. The One Percent Doctrine: Deep Inside America's Pursuit of Its Enemies Since 9/11, rev. ed. New York City: Simon & Schuster, 2007: 273.

[10] AD No. 111n17 (June 12, 2008); Derbyshire, John. We Are Doomed Reclaiming Conservative Pessimism. New York City: Crown Forum, 2009: 22-23, 25, 123, 201; “Kersey, Paul.” Escape From Detroit: The Collapse of America’s Black Metropolis. Lexington, Ky.: Stuff Black People Don’t Like, 2012: 165.

[11] Tuccille, Jerome. Radical Libertarianism: A Right-Wing Alternative. Indianapolis: Bobbs-Merrill, 1970.

[12]Arsenault, Mark. “Nightmare’s End.” The Boston Globe 20 Apr. 2013: A1+; King, Michael. “The Cartoon Governor.” AC 3 May 2013: 12+.

[13] Klaidman, Daniel. Kill or Capture: The War on Terror and the Soul of the Obama Presidency. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2012: 189.

[14] MacDonald, Kevin. The Culture of Critique: An Evolutionary Analysis of Jewish Involvement in Twentieth-Century Century Intellectual and Political Movements, rev. ed. Bloomington, Ind.: 1st Books Library, 2002: Ch. 7.

[15] AD No. 147n5; Culp, Cindy V. “Outpouring of Support.” WTH 26 Apr. 2013: 1A+; Herman, Ken. “Until Now, Town Was Known for Kolaches and Kitsch.” AAS 19 Apr. 2013: A9.

[16] Seamark, Michael, Louise Eccles, and Christian Gysin. “Champagne in the Streets, Student Union Cheers and Foul Internet Taunts.” Daily Mail 9 Apr. 2013: 6-7.

[17] AD No. 99n44 (Aug. 10, 2007); Lesiak, Krzysztof. “Robert Milnes, Perennial Presidential Candidate, Communicates With LNC Geoff Neale.” Independent Political Report 1 Apr. 2013 <>.

[18] AD No. 55 (Sep. 3, 2003); AD No. 75 (Dec. 5, 2004).

[19] Chang, Jeff. Can’t Stop Won’t Stop: A History of the Hip-Hop Generation. New York City: St. Martin's Press, 2005: 159.

[20] Richardson, John H. “Mike Bloomberg Will Save Us From Ourselves If Only We Let Him.” Esquire Feb. 2011: 88.

[21] AD No. 145n44 (Oct. 8, 2011).

[22] Eisler, Dan. “Re: Pecans.” E-mail to Mike Eisler, 20 Apr. 2013; Hutson, Miles. “Students Embrace Earth Week.” DT 22 Apr. 2013: 1+.

[23] Wright, Laura. “Bat Housing Crisis Affects UT Population.” DT 2 Apr. 2013: 10+.

[24] Koppel, Nathan. “State’s Pot Oversight Under Fire.” WSJ 28 Mar. 2013, Eastern ed.: A4.

[25] “Georgetown Sells Albertson’s.” ABJ 12 Apr. 2013: A4.

[26] Osborn, Claire. “Legendary Chimp Expert Goodall Draws Thousands.” AAS 4 Apr. 2013: B2.

[27] Murray, Noel. “The Accent Grave.” The Onion 11 Apr. 2013, Austin ed.: 14.

[28] Conquest, John. “Drivin’ South.” 3rd Coast Music Aug. 2001: 3; Fawcett, Thomas. “Get Down Brother.” AC 5 Apr. 2013: 46.

[29] Roeper, Richard. “The Roger of a Thousand Smiles.” CST 7 Apr. 2013: 8A-9A.

[30] Hickley, David. “A Series of Epoch Proportions.” NYDN 14 Apr. 2013: 4.

[31] “ ’80s Revival.” alt.culture, 73-74.

[32] AD No. 150n9 (April 16, 2012).

[33] AD No. 149n9 (Feb. 11, 2012).

[34] The 1989 World Book Year Book. Chicago: World Book, 1989.

[35] Gandara, Ricardo. “DA Foe Cites Moral Duty.” AAS 5 May 2013: B1+; King. “What Should Lehmberg Do?” AC Apr. 2013: 12; O’Rourke, Ciara. “Judge Allows Lehmberg Petition.” AAS 24 Apr. 2013: B1+; Idem., “Lehmberg Pleads Guilty, Goes to Jail in Handcuffs.” 20 Apr. 2013: A1+; Plohetski, Tony. “DA Plans to Stay in Office Despite DWI Arrest.” AAS 14 Apr. 2013: A+; Idem. “DA Says She’ll Plead Guilty.” 15 Apr. 2013; Smith, Jordan. “Lehmberg: Jail and Aftermath.” AC 26 Apr. 2013: 22; Idem., “Lehmberg: The D.A.’s DWI.” 19 Apr. 2013: 14; Idem., “What Happens Next?” 3 May 2013: 26+; Ward, Mike. “Law Provision Could Force Out Lehmberg.” AAS 16 Apr. 2013: A1+.

[36] Chang, Julie. “2 DPS Officials Charged With DWI in Separate Incidents.” AAS 3 May 2013: B5.

[37] Lozano, Zach. “Sixth Street, Fifth Place.” DT 2 Apr. 2013: 1-2.

[38] Kanin, Mike. “It’s Not Easy Being Green.” AC 5 Apr. 2013: 20-23.

[39] Idem. “City’s Urban Ag Effort Struggles to Take Root.” 12 Apr. 2013: 20.

[40] Mashood, Farzad. “Building Mulled as Debt Piles Up.” AAS 29 Apr. 2013: A8.

[41] Robards-Forbes, Esther. “North Austin Police Station Renamed for Fallen Officer.” AAS 7 Apr. 2013: B3.

[42] Denney, Amy. “Locally Owned Eateries Expanding in NW Austin.” CIN 25 Apr. 2013, Northwest Austin ed.: 1+.

[43] “Now Open.” CIN 25 Apr. 2013, Northwest Austin ed.: 6.

[44] D. Eisler. “The Mouse That Snored.” E-mail to Austin Tech Writers, 8 Apr. 2013.

[45] AD No. 154n22 (Aug. 11, 2012).

[46] Back-UPS XS 1000 Installation and Operation. West Kingston, R.I.: American Power Conversion, 2009.