|July 4, 2012
The Libertarian National committeemen answered last issue’s question: They really are that fucking
Independent Political Report publicized some internal communications among
chairman Geoff Neale and committeemen Wayne Allyn Schmuck, Michael Emerling
Cloud Cloud Emerling, and Starchild. I wrote last time they were unsuitable
for the job, partly because they wouldn’t be able to get along with each
other. Their e-mails prove me right. They couldn’t even wait a full week
after the national convention in Las Vegas.1
They could settle this matter by stepping out of the next natcom meeting
and beating the crap out of each other. Since these four are full of crap,
the beatings could take a while. Instead, they indulge in histrionics. The
national party could benefit financially through charging admission and pay-per-view
Moreover, they can’t decide from one day to the next which party they
think they’re representing, and not always in the obvious manner.2
Schmuck remains unaware that the few valid points he makes about the faults
of Libertarians and the necessary fixes have been articulated earlier and
better by Murray Rothbard,3 Lew Rockwell,4
John Dentinger,5 and Edward Feser,6 among others. Schmuck would know this if
he were better versed in the movement and its literature. As is, he’s discrediting
these and other valid points every time he opens his yap. A pity, because
many libertarians need to hear them more often than they do.7
Such as Neale, who behaves as though he were chairman of the British Labour
Party, until it’s time for him to defend the workers.8
Then he criticizes government unions in an LP press release about the Wisconsin
recall effort.9 Understand: Crushing government unions is a
good thing,10 but self-proclaimed “left-libertarians” lack credibility
on such issues. It’s consistent with their reflexes, because under scrutiny
they turn out to be one or the other, not both. At best, it’s a lifestyle
pose by the sort for whom freedom means never having to wear a necktie.11
However, the pose fails to attract “leftists” (kratic and anarchic) while
annoying real libertarians, to the detriment of the party and the movement
Also of detriment, LP presidential nominee Gary Johnson of New Mexico has
been scrutinized on the hustings and found to have a Schmuck-level grasp
of libertarianism.13 He couldn’t even clear 50 percent of the
vote in the California primary – after he’d already been nominated.14
In the future, convention delegates should avoid making important personnel
decisions while short on sleep. And somebody needs to confront Johnson and
tell him to shake the drug residue out of his skull,
do some reading so he knows what the hell he’s talking about, and step up
Victims of Soicumstance
After much delay and trepidation, I finally saw the “Three Stooges” feature
at the discount theater in Round Rock. It almost succeeded.15
To give an idea of the challenge, even Shemp Howard is regarded by Stooge
fans as something of an unworthy interloper – an attitude turned into a
multilayered joke in a “Barney Miller” episode.16 This feature
had for years been one of those notorious unmade projects languishing in
Hollywood. In 1984, with the Stooges more popular than ever,17
The Associated Press reported that Moe’s real-life son-in-law was considering
“a nationwide talent search to replace, Moe, Curly, and Larry” for a new
feature film.18 Piqued, Dad found out Norman Maurer’s phone
number and to his surprise, got through directly to Maurer and spoke with
him briefly. By that point, Maurer had decided the Stooges were inimitable
and shelved the project. But it gave my Stooge fan of a father a nice anecdote.
What cooled my enthusiasm about the feature was the amount of screen time
devoted to the plight of the orphans. Never mind sentiment – get back to
the slapping, eye poking and improper use of tools. One aspect of note: The
feature uses Larry (Sean Hayes) a lot more than the old shorts, both in
solo turns and in two-shot scenes.
In early June, “God Bless America,” a dark satire about the crass, shallow
and ugly aspects of American life and culture, opened at the Alamo Ritz
in downtown Austin.19 I was going to see it there, but by chance
learned of a Web site that hosts it and others for free, albeit at lower
resolution. It’s an OK film, though writer-director Bobcat Goldthwait picks
easy targets for the indie movie audience to jeer at. Also, his satiric
points would be more credible if he hadn’t participated in the “Police Academy”
In his newest book, Austin resident Tucker Max recounts getting into a
fight with some rich assholes while boating on one of the nearby lakes.21
As a tie-in to the revival of “Dallas,” the Statesman ran a travel feature
on the Southfork Ranch in Collin County.22 I drove by it one of
my days off back when I lived in Richardson.
It appeared smaller in real
life – no wonder the Ewings were so cross with each other: millions apiece
and they still have to share the same bathroom.
U.S. authorities cut off funding for a Pakistani “Sesame Street” after
the local puppet theater allegedly ripped off Uncle Sucker for millions.23
This sets up the series finale, where the characters die in a drone attack.24
The local papers published another round of articles fretting about the
tech industry’s condition,25 but as before, the executives and experts avoid discussing the real
internal and external causes of their fretting.
Michael Dell exulted on his Twitter account about a photo of President
Obama talking on the phone and gazing at a Dell Latitude laptop.26
Unfortunately, Obama was talking to customer service.
A new saloon has replaced one of the worst restaurants in Travis County,
which inexplicably remained open for years.27
The June 8 Chronicle ran a cloying feature on a cooperative bakery that
somehow is supposed to critique capitalism, and refute centuries of utopians
failing at creating viable alternatives thereto, with vegan doughnuts. Doubtless
you’ll hear all this from the patrons, punctuated with a shpritz of half-masticated
crullers. The lifespan of a cooperative, run by women, in the food services
industry and dedicated to using the highest-quality ingredients, will likely
be short. Anyway, the doughnuts themselves, otherwise described in the article
as puffy discs of fried dough, with sugar, chocolate and vegetable oil, still
don’t get a pass from health professionals. If only the bakery could last,
the ranks of self-righteous statists would be decimated through clogged arteries.28
To celebrate the 60th anniversary of the reign of a high-toned descendent
of a foreign warlord,29 Life magazine published some special
issue for the supermarket checkout lines with a cover of the young Queen
Elizabeth II looking like Seth Green in drag.30 Meanwhile, the
denizens of Airstrip One say their country’s gone into the crapper since
she first sat on the throne, according to a new poll.31
The Libertarian Alliance recommended abolishing the monarchy and kicking
Liz and her family off the dole for doing nothing for 60 years while Muslims
and Jamaican street gangs have overrun the country with the connivance of
the parasitic political class.32
The Chronicle predictably sneers at “For Greater Glory,” about the Cristero
War in Mexico. The review tries to disguise the hatchet job as an esthetic
critique, then gives away the game a few sentences later about “… the film’s
true intentions: to tell a tale of Christian heroism rather than an epic
saga about a people’s revolution or the cost of freedom.”33 As
though there’s something inherently incompatible with the three. Clearly,
this reviewer is unfamiliar with the scholarship, often associated with
the Mises Institute, on the topic.34
Meanwhile, Louis Black returned to writing his “Page Two” column in the
Chronicle after a long convalescence.35 While his writing and
insights haven’t worsened, neither have they improved. He’s still a
Black plus the vegan bakery reminds me of my alma mater’s newspaper,
where a top editor was a vegetarian but also overweight and a heavy smoker.
Predictably, she was also a pinko. Now the newspaper, the first to pay me
for writing, will switch from printing daily to twice-weekly in a magazine
format in autumn.36
Further Political Follies
In the Texas primaries’ postmortem, Chronicalista Michael King whines
about the Republican gerrymandering of congressional districts to stymie
Democrats – especially white Democrats – from victory in Travis County.37
That’s the whole point of gerrymandering, and has
been since the ‘60s. King is whining about finding politics … in politics
because he doesn’t like the results. When the Democrats controlled
Texas, they did the same thing, and stymied the GOP from winning more congressional
seats during its ascendancy than it would have otherwise. The Dems might
still be in power, and therefore control redistricting, but the statists
capped several decades’ struggle in 1982, gained
control of the Texas Democratic Party, drove out everyone else, and lost
the state because they insisted on cramming their agenda down the throats
of a people whose ancestors twice threw off outside tyranny.38
Don’t hold your breath waiting for King or his ilk to acknowledge something
Cumulative anecdotes suggest Obama’s supporters are edging away from him.
In The Villager, syndicated columnist Raynard Jackson criticizes the NAACP
for straying from its mission by supporting homosexuals and illegal immigrants,
and for becoming “a patsy for the Democratic Party.”39 The other
Austin black newspaper, Nokoa, includes an even-handed assessment of Mitt
Romney’s Mormon background in its June 7 issue.40 Meanwhile,
Don Rickles insults Obama at a mixed-race Hollywood event and gets laughs.41
Austin Death Watch
The City Council voted June 7 to jack up Austin Energy electric rates
by government fiat, rather than a private utility charging the market rate.
The Chronicle predictably sneered at this alternative to the statist quo,
too.42 Similarly, City officials are talking about a fee increase
to hire more bureaucrats to clear the backlog of construction permit applications
– a backlog the existing bureaucrats are responsible for and probably created
so as to require a fee increase.43
In the final hearing on Austin’s new comprehensive 30-year plan, even
supporters and participants of the plan criticized it for resembling the
1928 plan that drove blacks to the east side and for trying to turn Austin
into Portland, Ore. The Council approved the new plan anyway. However, if
the new plan is like the 1980 plan, we can undercut, thwart, and eventually
In the meantime, Austin’s growth by annexation jeopardizes funding for
county fire districts, reports the Statesman.45 The Austin power
elite will no doubt enjoy the spectacle of some cedar chopper’s paradise
burning from their downtown condo terraces. That’s if they’re not first
driven out by rising property taxes – up by 38 percent in the last 10 years
at the hands of the City, County, and Austin Independent School, Austin
Community College, and Central Health districts, according to the Statesman.46
Three motorcyclists died in separate incidents scattered across town during
the annual Republic of Texas Biker Rally from June 7-10. One fell from the
flyover connecting southbound Interstate 35 to U.S. 290 East. Worse, the
snarled traffic inconvenienced me while I was trying to get someplace.47
The latest news about the Formula One racetrack indicates that even with
improvements, parking, roadways and the airport are insufficient to handle
300,000 visitors.48 I think everyone is missing an opportunity.
Instead of Formula One racing, the police can stop idiot drivers and send
them to drive the track in their normal fashion until they crash and kill
each other. Instead of tickets, the City can charge admission and pay-per-view
fees. This would probably raise enough money to pay off the massive municipal
debts, while simultaneously solving a persistent traffic problem and sate
the appetite for blood sport. We could even have theme nights for various
categories of bad drivers.
A self-service yogurt bar has opened at Shops at Arbor Walk. A salon has
opened at the Austin Commons strip mall. A dermatology practice has opened
at the Plaza North medical building.49 Culver's has remodeled
its shop at Braker and Kramer lanes.50 Twin Liquors replaced
an independent liquor store at The Market at Parmer shopping plaza.
1 “Geoff Neale on “The Situation” With Michael Cloud.” Independent
Political Report 22 May 2012 < http://www.independentpoliticalreport.com/2012/05/geoff-neale-on-the-situation-with-michael-cloud/>.
2 Root, Wayne Allyn. “How Romney Can Win the Presidency – This
Week.” Townhall.com 18 Jun. 2012 <http://townhall.com/columnists/wayneallynroot/2012/06/18/how_romney_can_win_the_presidency__this_week/page/full/>.
3 The Irrepressible Rothbard: The Rothbard-Rockwell Report
Essays of Murray N. Rothbard. Ed. Llewellyn H. Rockwell Jr. Burlingame,
Calif.: Center for Libertarian Studies, 2000: 37-42, 100-115.
4 Rockwell. “The Case for Paleo-Libertarianism.” Liberty
Jan. 1990: 34-38.
5 Dentinger, John. “Envy vs. Cooperation.” Idem., Nov. 1988: 68-70.
6 Feser, Edward. “What Libertarianism Isn’t.” LewRockwell.com
22 Dec. 2001 < http://www.lewrockwell.com/orig/feser2.html>.
7 Eisler, Dan. “Re: WSJ.com - A Far-Right Texan Inspires Antiwar
Left.” E-mail to TCLPActive, 11 Mar. 2003.
8 AD No. 63n25 (Apr. 15, 2004).
9 “Libertarian Party Says Gov. Walker Made Right First Step.”
Libertarian Party Headquarters press release, 6 Jun. 2012.
10 Reynolds, Morgan O. Power and Privilege: Labor Unions in
America. New York City: Universe Books, 1984: Ch. 8.
11 Doherty, Brian. “Rockwell-Doherty Interview.” Rockwell. Speaking
of Liberty. Auburn, Ala.: Ludwig von Mises Institute, 2003: 410.
12 AD No. 111n10 (June 12, 2008).
13 Antle, W. James III. “Antiwar, Conservative, and Looking
Toward November.” The American Conservative 25 May 2012 < http://www.theamericanconservative.com/articles/antiwar-conservative-and-looking-toward-november/>;
Burris, Charles. “The Litmus Test.” The LRC Blog 3 Jun. 2012 <
http://www.lewrockwell.com/blog/lewrw/archives/113203.html >; Field, Eric.
“Gary Johnson Disappoints: LP Candidate Doesn’t Understand Libertarianism.”
Examiner.com 3 Jun. 2012 < http://www.examiner.com/article/gary-johnson-disappoints-lp-candidate-doesn-t-understand-libertarianism>;
“Gary Johnson: Statist.” Scott Lazarowitz’s Blog 8 Jun. 2012 <
http://reasonandjest.com/blog/2012/06/gary-johnson-statist/>; Sipos, Thomas.
“Gary Johnson on Afghanistan, Libya and Non-Intervention.” Libertarian
Peacenik 1 Jun. 2012 < http://libertarianpeacenik.blogspot.com/2012/06/gary-johnson-on-afghanistan-libya-and.html>;
Wenzel, Robert. “How Libertarian Is Gary Johnson?” EconomyPolicyJournal.com
2 Jun. 2012 < http://www.economicpolicyjournal.com/2012/06/how-libertarian-is-gary-johnson.html>;
Vance, Laurence. “Gary Johnson’s Libertarianism.” The LRC Blog 3 Jun.
2012 < http://www.lewrockwell.com/blog/lewrw/archives/113199.html>.
14 “Primary Election Results.” The Orange County Register
7 Jun. 2012: 2.
15 The Three Stooges. Wessler Entertainment/C3 Entertainment
Inc./Conundrum Entertainment, 2012.
16 “The Doll.” Barney Miller ABC-TV, 26 Mar. 1981.
17 Ferretti, Fred. “Three Stooges Nostalgia Is Today’s Newest
Fad.” NYT 4 Mar. 1983, late city final ed.: B1.
18 Thomas, Bob. AP. “Film Maker Seeking Three New Stooges.” Hackensack
(N.J.) Record 4 Sep. 1984.
19 Baumgarten, Marjorie. Rev of God Bless America. AC 1
Jun. 2012: 63.
20 Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment. Warner Bros.
Pictures/The Ladd Co., 1985; Police Academy 3: Back in Training. Police
Academy Productions/Warner Bros. Pictures, 1986; Police Academy 4: Citizens
on Patrol. Warner Bros. Pictures, 1987.
21 AD No. 133n18 (May 4, 2010); Max, Tucker. Hilarity
Ensues. Austin, Texas: Blue Heeler Books, 2012: 180-190.
22 Anders, Helen. “Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch….” AAS 20 May
23 “End of the Road for Pakistan’s Sesame Street as US Cuts Grant.”
The Daily Telegraph 6 Jun. 2012: 21.
24 Becker, Jo, and Scott Shane. “Secret ‘Kill List’ Proves a Test
of Obama’s Principles and Will.” NYT 29 May 2012: A1
25 Calnan, Christopher. “Does the Valley Have a Monopoly on V.C.?”
ABJ 25 May 2012: A1+; Stelte, Mitzie. “City Working to Close Technology Talent
Gap.” CIN 22 Jun. 2012, Northwest Austin ed.: 1+; Zehr, Dan. “Many Midtier
Jobs Go Missing.” AAS 24 Jun. 2012: A1+.
26 Calnan. “Dell Plays With Obama Pic.” ABJ 25 May 2012: A2.
27 CIN Jun. 2012, Round Rock/Plugerville/Hutto ed.: 7.
28 Haupt, Melanie. “Sweat, Equity.” AC 8 Jun. 2012: 34-35; Rothbard,
Murray N. An Austrian Perspective on the History of Economic Thought,
Vol. I: Economic Thought Before Adam Smith. Brookfield, Vt.: Edward Elgar,
1995; Shafarevich, Igor Rostislavovich. The Socialist Phenomenon.
1975. Trans. William Tjalsma. New York City: Harper & Row Publishers,
1980; Walker, Jesse. “Workers Take Control.” Liberty Apr. 1993: 53-54+.
29 Paine, Thomas. Common Sense, 2nd rev. ed. 1776. Rpt.
in Collected Writings. New York City: Library of America, 1995: 18.
30 McCracken, Kristin. Seth Green. New York City: Scholastic
Library Publishing, 2001.
31 Burgess, Anthony [John Anthony Burgess Wilson]. 1985.
Boston: Little, Brown & Co., 1978: 4; Reuters. “Poll: UK Has Changed
for Worse Under Queen Elizabeth.” Today’s Zaman 30 May 2012: 20.
32 Gabb, Sean. Cultural Revolution, Culture War: How Conservatives
Lost England, and How to Get It Back. London: The Hampden Press, 2007:
33 Baumgarten. Rev of For Greater Glory. AC 1 Jun. 2012:
34 Woods, Thomas E. Jr. How the Catholic Church Built Western
Civilization. Washington, D.C.: Regnery Publishing, 2005.
35 Black, Louis. “A New Day, a New Dance.” AC 8 Jun. 2012: 6.
36 Tallmadge, Alice. “The Oregon Daily Emerald.” Oregon Quarterly
Summer 2012: 36-41.
37 King, Michael. “Primary Lessons.” AC 1 Jun. 2012: 9-10.
38 Fehrenbach, T.R. Lone Star: A History of Texas and the Texans,
rev. ed. New York City: Da Capo Press, 2000: Ch. 11-14, 21-23; Richards,
David. Once Upon a Time in Texas: A Liberal in the Lone Star State.
Austin, Texas: U of Texas, 2002: 221-226.
39 Jackson, Raynard. “NAACP Strays Far Away From Its Mission.”
The Villager 8 Jun. 2012: 2.
40 “Understanding Mormons.” Nokoa 7 Jun. 2012: 5.
41 Gandelman, Joe. “Don Rickles and the Gasp of Political Correctness.”
The (Torrington, Conn.) Register Citizen 15 Jun. 2012: A7.
42 Kanin, Mike. “Total Utility.” AC 15 Jun. 2012: 22-26; King,
Michael. “Electric Lessons.” AC 15 Jun. 2012: 11-12; Stelte, Mitzie. “City
Council OKs New Austin Energy Rates to Minimize Revenue Shortfall.” CIN,
Northwest Austin ed.: Jun. 2012: 9; Toohey, Marty. “Council OKs Higher Electric
Rates.” AAS 8 Jun. 2012: A1+.
43 AD No. 149n27 (Feb. 11, 2012); Garza, Vicky. “Permit
Reviews to Speed Up in a Few Months.” ABJ 22 Jun. 2012: A1+; Toohey. “Proposed
Fee Increase Meant to Speed Up Review Process.” AAS 14 Jun. 2012: A1+.
44 Smith, Amy. “This Isn’t Portland.” AC 22 Jun. 2012: 22.
45 George, Patrick. “Annexation Plans Likely to Hurt Budgets of
County’s Fire Districts.” AAS 24 Jun. 2012: A1+.
46 Toohey. “Property Taxes Up 38% in 10 Years.” AAS 1 Jul. 2012:
47 Merrigan, Tara. “Motorcyclist Falls From I-35 Flyover, Dies.”
9 Jun. 2012: B3; Price, Asher. “Two More Bikers Die in Separate Incidents.”
AAS 10 Jun. 2012: B1.
48 Whittaker, Richard. “Council Briefed on F1 Prep Work.” AC 22
Jun. 2012: 16.
49 “Now Open.” CIN, Northwest Austin ed.: Jun. 2012: 4.
50 “Remodel.” Idem., 5.